Archive for the ‘Role Models’ Category

7
Feb

Women and the Confidence thing – Part 1

Presence and confidence are essential aspects of leadership for both men and women.  Leaders who have established credibility are confident, self-aware and able to influence and inspire with an elegance and charisma.  Confidence is an essential success factor for leaders.  Despite this amongst women – confidence or lack of it is an issue.  So what is this self-confidence thing for women? Is is a universal issue?  How does it manifest itself and how does it impact success and advancement?
In fact, if you look below the surface of even the most successful women you will see self-doubt,  uncertainty and more often than not a lack of self-confidence.


We can all name individuals who we consider to be confident, someone who seems to ooze charm and charisma. We may think – ‘they are so lucky, to be born with such confidence.’  We are impressed by their daring and sassiness and ability to just get out there.  We are impressed by what by how they always make a good impression, by what others say about them  and how they never seem to be fazed.

michelle-obama-white-house-portrait


For example, President Obama said of his wife…


“Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!”


It is interesting then to read that Michelle Obama although seemly confident and somewhat fearless and fabulous…hasn’t and doesn’t always feel that way.  In her description of the first female Hispanic Supreme Court judge she stated…


…despite all her [Judge Sotomayor] success at Princeton, [she then] went on to Yale Law School where she was at the top of her class in both schools—and despite all of her professional accomplishments, Judge Sotomayor says she still looks over her shoulder and wonders if she measures up. And when I read her story, I understood exactly how she feels.

Surprising.  You may have thought Michelle Obama was one of the lucky women born with ‘confidence gene’  – not so it seems.   She is not the first woman to feel as though she is an ‘impostor’ or ‘is this for real?’  Even the most successful and high achieving women are prone to high levels of self-doubt. Many women have the belief that they were “fooling” other people, “faking it” or getting by from having the right contacts, being in the right place at the right time or just being “lucky.” Many hold a belief they would be exposed as frauds and are waiting for that tap on the shoulder.   For many women this self-doubt and lack of confidence prevents from them being who they want to be.  As a result may feel inauthentic, inferior or not able to ‘own’ their success and achievements.  Sometimes, I find I have to quote Eleanor Roosevelt, to myself.


“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Self-confidence needs to based on authenticity.   True confidence enables us to express who we really are.  So how about you? How confident are you?  Would you describe yourself as a confident leader? A confident business owner? Are you as confident as you’d like to be?

Rate your self-confidence right now on scale of 1 – 10 on each of the following statements:


  • I am happy to talk to strangers if they talk to me first. __
  • I find it easy to start a conversation with strangers. __
  • When I speak, I am considered  intelligent and articulate. __
  • I am told I am professional and have a reputation for being credible. __
  • I enjoy public speaking. __
  • I enjoy opportunities to meet new people. __
  • I am happy to voice my opinions and thoughts in meetings. __
  • I make friends easily. __
  • I don’t worry what people think of me. __
  • I am known for being assertive. __

These characteristics are critical for success for both men and women, but are often development areas for women.  If you’ve scored 10/10 for each area you could probably write your own book on self confidence.  On the other hand, you may recognize those areas as requiring development if you are to achieve you business and career goals.
Here’s one tip to get you started on building your confidence:

Remind yourself that you like you by repeating the mantra: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself…” Go on try it.


Parts 2 & 3 of ‘Women and the confidence thing’ gives you more coaching tips for you to become the confident you.

4
Jun

Charisma – part of your leadership presence

picresized_1276897691_eloquent-eyes-18Charisma – have you got it?  Do you recognise it when you see it? Who do you think of when considering charismatic people?  Dalai Lama? Tony Blair? John F. Kennedy? Margaret Thatcher? Mother Theresa? Fabio Capello

Barak Obama said of his wife,

Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!

Charisma is a powerful and effective quality.  So what is charisma and can it be learnt? Do you become more charismatic with confidence?

Charisma can be defined as ‘compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others’. It can be daunting to imagine yourself as a charismatic leader if you don’t feel it comes naturally to you.  However, although there are no quick fixes to becoming more charismatic, charisma is a learnable set of skills which can be built and which, when embodied, will become a highly desirable attribute contributing to your success and leadership presence.

Research and a number of studies conducted have shown conclusively that charismatic leaders are more successful.  They appreciate the impact that charisma can have on their effectiveness and work to develop it as part of their leadership presence.  Charismatic leaders attract more publicity and more attention from outside groups as well as exerting strong connections within within their organisation.

Here are some suggestions to help you develop your charisma and leadership presence

Connection to a higher purpose: Charismatic individuals seem to have a greater sense of purpose beyond their own gain. Be purpose focused and get in touch with the bigger vision that drives you and remind yourself of this daily.

Authenticity and Uniqueness: It’s great to be you, so give yourself permission to be true to you demonstrating your passion – it is attractive

Communicate and hone your presence: Communication is both holistic and cognitive – you need to think about your presence in terms of specific communication. Clarify your messages to make them clear and coherent. Only 7% of our communication is through words, thus how we ‘present’ ourselves, the tonality of our voice, image and body language is key to communicating who we are. Your communication and the image you present create the first impression in any situation. In conversation consider so much about leadership isn’t about you but that other person.

Self- awareness – ‘know thyself’: Emotional intelligence is a crucial part of charisma. Awareness of emotions and the ability to manage moods are key skills for charismatic individuals, as is empathy for others. Learn to connect with your own feelings and listen to others.

Health, energy and appearance: Key to charisma is health. Charismatic people need not have perfect smiles or gym bodies, but they do have a vitality and abundance of life. They also nearly always manage their appearance well. So value your health – this includes good sleep, water, exercise, recreation and diet.

The role of the body: Charisma is an embodied quality. It is apparent from the moment an individual walks into a room. Charismatic people ‘own the room’ and they convey charisma by their posture and movement.  Manage your posture and practice carrying yourself with confidence and dignity – standing tall, carrying your weight firmly in each step and ‘owning the room’.  Observe how charismatic role models carry themselves.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, which frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? (Marianne Williamson)