Archive for the ‘Gender equality’ Category

8
Feb

Women and the confidence thing – Part 3: Building your Confidence

blog-2There is sufficient reason to believe that many women doubt themselves and can be hard on themselves particularly in male dominated industries.
Self doubt, the lack self-confidence, and ‘impostor’ feelings undermine the potential to succeed and to become an influential leader with presence.

“When a man cuts himself, he throws away the razor.  When a woman cuts herself, she blames herself.” – Gail Koff (Smith D. (2000) Women at work: Leadership for the next century. Prentice Hall)

The good news is that lack of self-confidence does not however, equate to lack in leadership skills and potential and through support, coaching and a shift in thinking, confidence can be developed and acquired as with any other leadership competence area.  This one issue should not prevent women from achieving their leadership success.

Here are 10 coaching tips… towards a more confident you.  Choose one or two to begin working on, then come back for more:

  1. Remind yourself of when you achieved something who were really quite proud of.  Can you remember how that felt, what you were doing, who spoke with you and what you were thinking about yourself. Consider the skills you demonstrated, the resources you found within yourself – now list them.  But list them with as a phrase beginning with ‘I am’…for example, you won a big contract, and found your were excellent at negotiations.  Record this skills as “ I am influential.”  And so forth.  whatever you think you can do, you are probably right! (Henry Ford)
  2. Visualisation: Imagine the confident you – create firstly a mental picture and then short film of yourself as the confidence individual, business leader you perhaps have doubted.  Are you the charismatic, elegant business women who is an expert in her field – visual yourself giving a presentation or making that important telephone call.  How do you feel, what are your thinking? How do you look? Do you ‘own’ the room as you enter? What behaviours and characteristics are you demonstrating to warrant you success?
  3. Spend time with approachable, pleasant, charming confident people- it rubs off.
  4. Carry yourself with confidence – stand stall, be aware of your posture and walk with your weight firm in each step
  5. When meeting someone for the first time, offer the handshake first and  use your full name.  Be authentic, you may feel you want to demonstrate warmth at the meeting – place you hand on top of their right hand briefly as it shakes yours.  Create a rapport.
  6. Keep a journal of your achievements, and your successes, testimonials, thank you notes.  Read and review particular when you find yourself doubting yourself.
  7. When you are played a compliment – respond with eye contact and a ‘thank you’ – Avoid downplaying what you have achieved,or your efforts.
  8. Tell yourself you are confident – and say like you mean it.  Remember, ” I like myself, I like myself.”  Now add other powerful affirmations: “I am confident and I am loving it”
  9. Avoid using qualifiers or using inflections at the end of sentences.  It will appear that you doubt yourself and others will also doubt what you say.
  10. Talk back to your fearful voice in your head.  Create a new more empowered message.  You are not powerless, give yourself permission to be you, powerful and confident.

“If you hear a voice within in you say “you cannot paint”,then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” Vincent Van Googh

7
Feb

Women and the Confidence thing – Part 1

Presence and confidence are essential aspects of leadership for both men and women.  Leaders who have established credibility are confident, self-aware and able to influence and inspire with an elegance and charisma.  Confidence is an essential success factor for leaders.  Despite this amongst women – confidence or lack of it is an issue.  So what is this self-confidence thing for women? Is is a universal issue?  How does it manifest itself and how does it impact success and advancement?
In fact, if you look below the surface of even the most successful women you will see self-doubt,  uncertainty and more often than not a lack of self-confidence.


We can all name individuals who we consider to be confident, someone who seems to ooze charm and charisma. We may think – ‘they are so lucky, to be born with such confidence.’  We are impressed by their daring and sassiness and ability to just get out there.  We are impressed by what by how they always make a good impression, by what others say about them  and how they never seem to be fazed.

michelle-obama-white-house-portrait


For example, President Obama said of his wife…


“Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!”


It is interesting then to read that Michelle Obama although seemly confident and somewhat fearless and fabulous…hasn’t and doesn’t always feel that way.  In her description of the first female Hispanic Supreme Court judge she stated…


…despite all her [Judge Sotomayor] success at Princeton, [she then] went on to Yale Law School where she was at the top of her class in both schools—and despite all of her professional accomplishments, Judge Sotomayor says she still looks over her shoulder and wonders if she measures up. And when I read her story, I understood exactly how she feels.

Surprising.  You may have thought Michelle Obama was one of the lucky women born with ‘confidence gene’  – not so it seems.   She is not the first woman to feel as though she is an ‘impostor’ or ‘is this for real?’  Even the most successful and high achieving women are prone to high levels of self-doubt. Many women have the belief that they were “fooling” other people, “faking it” or getting by from having the right contacts, being in the right place at the right time or just being “lucky.” Many hold a belief they would be exposed as frauds and are waiting for that tap on the shoulder.   For many women this self-doubt and lack of confidence prevents from them being who they want to be.  As a result may feel inauthentic, inferior or not able to ‘own’ their success and achievements.  Sometimes, I find I have to quote Eleanor Roosevelt, to myself.


“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Self-confidence needs to based on authenticity.   True confidence enables us to express who we really are.  So how about you? How confident are you?  Would you describe yourself as a confident leader? A confident business owner? Are you as confident as you’d like to be?

Rate your self-confidence right now on scale of 1 – 10 on each of the following statements:


  • I am happy to talk to strangers if they talk to me first. __
  • I find it easy to start a conversation with strangers. __
  • When I speak, I am considered  intelligent and articulate. __
  • I am told I am professional and have a reputation for being credible. __
  • I enjoy public speaking. __
  • I enjoy opportunities to meet new people. __
  • I am happy to voice my opinions and thoughts in meetings. __
  • I make friends easily. __
  • I don’t worry what people think of me. __
  • I am known for being assertive. __

These characteristics are critical for success for both men and women, but are often development areas for women.  If you’ve scored 10/10 for each area you could probably write your own book on self confidence.  On the other hand, you may recognize those areas as requiring development if you are to achieve you business and career goals.
Here’s one tip to get you started on building your confidence:

Remind yourself that you like you by repeating the mantra: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself…” Go on try it.


Parts 2 & 3 of ‘Women and the confidence thing’ gives you more coaching tips for you to become the confident you.

19
Jan

Will the Women Please Stand Up

coloured pencils

Last week the French Government approved quotas for Boardroom positions for women in response to the low representation of women.  Quotas have raised debate and have been a controversial issue for sometime, but could we see such a policy in the UK. The percentage of women in the Boardroom of the top 100 FTSE companies is less than that in France at a mere 12.3%.  This slow progress of women’s advancement is in despite of the huge number of talented, ambitions and highly qualified women that have flood the workplace.   I suggest the issue of such low number of women in senior roles is not about the talent per se.  Half the best talent in the world is female!  So what are those factors that have become barriers for women advancing in career, business and leadership.  Here are a few.

  • Women still face complex and powerful stereotypes in the business world and male-dominated industries
  • Pay inequalities between genders
  • The challenge of getting and retaining female talent
  • Work-life Balance
  • Women have the lion’s share of childcare responsibilities
  • The lack of ‘quality’ mentors
  • Women are not as well ‘networked’ as men.
  • There is a lack of gender balanced leadership

But one issue not always discussed is how women view leadership and power? How well do we as women embrace leadership roles? In comparison to men women tend to be self-depreciating of their successes and achievements. Women can tend to be ‘nice’ rather than ‘political’ in the work place.  How many times have you heard yourself or women say – “I’m not getting involved in the politics here?’ Women tend to wait to be asked for that promotion or new position and would rather not to highlight their achievements for fear of being too arrogant or labeled.  Is our childhood construct is to blame? Or lack of confidence, fear or acceptance of this is just the way it is. Whatever the reason, can we not choose otherwise?

There is an accelerated shift in understanding of impact and influence women are having and will have in the 21st century- there will be economic, social and political consequences beyond our expectations. This time last last year The Economist reported

‘Women’s Economic empowerment is arguably the biggest social change of our times.‘ (January 2010)

Consider the words of Iyanla Vanzant back in 1996 – do her words resonate as we move into 2011?

“There is something phenomenal going on!
I’m not quite sure what it is, and quite frankly. I don’t care! I simply know, whatever it is, it will be great!
It has to do with change, healing, growth and evolution.
And
It has to do with women.
If I were pressed, I would put it into words like this:
There are changes taking place in the hearts and minds of women
That are going to rock the world!
Women are changing their minds about who they are: and what their role will be in the world order.
Women are learning to be responsible for the healing of their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual selves.
Women are learning to love themselves and each other.
Most of all women are evolving to the point where they are no longer willing to accept ‘nonsense’ from themselves or from anyone else.
I love it!
Will the women please stand up!”


12
May

Do women hold up half the sky?

Do women hold up half the sky?

Around much of the world, inequality between men and women remains, in terms of education, access to healthcare, work, salaries, business leadership and involvement in political institutions. There has however, been an evolution in the views around the role of women over the last forty years and we have moved closer towards the aspiration of equality. But significant gaps remain globally and how far have we come in the UK?

Mao Zedong said women hold up half the sky, but you wouldn’t think so if you looked at the FTSE-100 Boards. Women make up a mere 12% of the FTSE directors in the UK. Sir John Bond, ex-chief at HSBC, now at Vodafone considers it bad business where women are not given equal opportunities…’apart from being unjust, it’s bad for business.’ (‘Fathers and Daughters’ Management Today, Nov. 2009).  Yet according to the Economist 2010,

Women’s economic empowerment is arguably the biggest social change of our times.

The limited representation of women in top positions does not reflect the fact that women make up the majority of Talent in the UK with more and more coming into the workforce, achieving academically and developing professionally. So this issue is not that the talent doesn’t exist – an argument often cited.

Further, in this extraordinary month of election campaigning, TV debates, a hung parliament, political negotiations and finally a coalition government – there has been a significant lack of visibility of women in the political arena.

We did see an increase in the number of women MPs from 128 to 139 (or from 19.1% to 21.3%) (see One World Action) and given all the talk of an era ‘new politics’, is this enough? Further, as I write this blog there has been one woman named in the Con-Lib coalition cabinet – Theresa May – Home Secretary and Minister for Women and Equality.   With a mere 55 female Conservative and Liberal Democrat MPs, can we expect any more?

As with the case for economics and business the lack of women in top roles and positions in the political arena is bad for government and disillusioning. We still have some way to go. ‘Women holding up half the sky’ remains an aspiration.

16
Sep

Are you one of the 5,600 ‘missing’ women?

You could be! According to the Equality and Human Rights Commission looking at women in top positions…if women were to achieve equal representation among Britain’s 31,000 top positions of power, the Commission estimates over 5,600 ‘missing’ women would rise through the ranks to positions of real influence.  Can you imagine such equality? Can you imagine being in a top position?

Are you one of the 5,600 ‘missing’ women?

I confess, although I am someone known for optimism and believing in miracles when faced with some of the statistics it’s hard to imagine 5,600 more women in significant positions. The same report, Sex and Power, has likened women’s progress to a snail’s pace. A snail could crawl:

  • nine times round the M25 in the 55 years it will take women to achieve equality in the senior judiciary;
  • from Land’s End to John O’Groats and halfway back again in the 73 years it will take for equal numbers of women to become directors of FTSE 100 companies; and
  • the entire length of the Great Wall of China in 212 years, only slightly longer than the 200 years it will take for women to be equally represented in Parliament.

Here are five tips:

  1. Shift your thinking. Another of my favourite quotes is Albert Einstein ‘The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.’ A common analogy of career progression is that of climbing the rungs of a ladder. This thinking is limiting, instead think of it more as scaling in a rock face with the footholds and handholds in small crevices as opportunities and new thinking. Sometimes you will need to shift your weight to the left or to the right to get your balance before you can reach the top. But look out for those less obvious opportunities – that small speaking engagement, that invitation to be on a school board and ‘give back’ and that role that takes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself and go out on limb.
  2. Get yourself a mentor. The gender ‘problem’ may be addressed by training and leadership programmes for the advancement for women, but a mentor will support and strengthen confidence in your career. Someone who has gone before you and has progress further up that rock face and can drop that rope down to you.  However, if women look exclusively to other women as mentors, a lack of women at the top means women may not be able to find suitable mentors who can help them develop so having a female mentor isn’t necessary all of the time.
  3. Be authentic and take ownership of your destiny. It is your career, your life, your destiny. Carve out your own career path and in doing so you will be empowered along the way.  Distinguish yourself from the rest of the crowd and don’t be a victim.  If you don’t like something, change it.  If you think something is wrong, if its not aligned to your values, get into a position where you can do something about it.  If you don’t want to be pigeonholed, don’t pigeonhole yourself.  Be true to yourself.
  4. Be brilliant. Get really really good at the role you are in.  Ensure you have your foothold securely in that role and have mastered it before moving n to the next.  Remember wise words of Winston Churchill, “It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”
  5. Live with passion, live on purpose. Be enthusiastic about what you do and how you do it.  Let your passion shine.   Find the opportunities in areas that ignite your passion and purpose, be it networking events, business referral meetings and one-to-one coffee meetings where your passion is aligned. Be purpose-driven and not just in a business sense follow your heart, connect with people you like