Archive for the ‘Communication’ Category

13
Apr

It’s all in the Mind: The Impact of our thoughts

Fertile Mind

Does your mind ever get the best of you?

Do you sometimes wish you could just STOP thinking so negatively?

Do you feel your mindset is messing with your success?

Well, you are not the only one.  This is perfectly normal.

Your mind is one of the most powerful tools on the planet. Every day, people use their brains to solve problems, write books, draw up blueprints for skyscrapers, invent new technologies and make money.

It is through our thoughts that we create the world we live in.  We can alter our worlds by changing our thoughts.  If we change our thoughts we can change our lives. If we become aware of and understand the potential and power for our minds – we can consciously create greater happiness, and a greater sense of freedom. It’s all in the mind. (more…)

13
May

Presence: How Emotionally Intelligent are you?

beach pebbles

Emotional intelligence is a crucial part of presence and charisma. Understanding yourself and seeking to understand others and the ability to sense how others feel enables you to communicate more effectively. It will inspire loyalty and confidence.

So begin, with self-awareness and understanding what make you tick. Awareness of emotions and the ability to manage moods are key skills for charismatic individuals. Take the time to explore your self-awareness and ultimately become more emotionally intelligent. The more self-aware you are, the more control you have over your life.  Take 20 minutes (each day if you can) in quiet contemplation and focus on you.

Ten questions to ask yourself:

  1. Who are you, who do you need to become and how do you want to develop?
  2. Do you feel capable of achieving anything you set you mind to?
  3. How did you feel and respond when you last received a compliment?  Pleased? Apologetic? Self-effacing?
  4. How competent do you feel about your skills and talents in business, work, career?
  5. How successful do you feel?
  6. Do you set yourself goals? Do you feel confident in achieving them?
  7. Are you living the way you want?
  8. Do you feel in control of you destiny?
  9. Do you feel good about yourself?
  10. In general are you happy?

Take Action: Look at yourself in the mirror.  Are you proud of what you see?  If the answer is no, write down what you would have to do or become in order to be proud of yourself.

‘Knowing others is intelligence.
Knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength
Mastering yourself is true power.’

(Lao Tsu)

6
May

Presence: Have you got it?

HowtoPersuadeOthersUsingCharisma-main_Full

You get attention from the people around you without apparently trying.
Others respond with enthusiasm and passion.
Your views are often quoted.
People want to know what you think.
You are talked about though always with respect…

What have you got? …

Presence

I’m sure we can all name people with a certain presence and charisma whether they create a positive impact on people or not. Ghandi, Beyonce, Tony Blair (like it or not), Michelle Obama, Simon Cowell, Jose Marinhio (for the football followers) or Mr Tumble (for those of you with pre-schoolers) to name but a few.

Presence and is a connection that creates a strong powerful influence.  It’s an essential element of management and leadership for both men and women but needs to be authentic at the core. It cannot be faked, but it can be enhanced and developed. So how do you develop as a leader with presence and come out of the shadows. I’ve collated a series of tips, questions and actions to help you on your way to an authentic presence.

Tip 1: Dare to dream

Leaders with presence and charisma are individuals with a sense of purpose.  A purpose that drives them and is beyond their own gain. This purpose gives you focus and is the the one overarching goal you have at any one time, that will have the greatest impact enabling you to achieve more of your other goals.

Ask yourself this question and take action.

Question: What one thing would you dare to dream if you knew you could not fail?

This question helps you consider your why? And helps you to determine and connect to a higher purpose.

Action: Determine and write down your major definite purpose.  Your most important goal.  It needs to be clear, something you actually want, believable, achievable and congruent with your values, beliefs and your other goals can be aligned to it.

Do something every day that moves you at least one step towards your most important and definite goal.

“I am here for a purpose, and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand.  Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all, and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.” – Og Mandino

26
Apr

People who lack confidence always underachieve

Stand out and be noticed

Confidence influences all areas of your life and a  healthy self-image and  belief in yourself is the greatest asset you can have.  People who lack confidence and self-belief always underachieve.  They are less willing to try something new, less likely to be realise their potential and to be their best self.  Sound familiar?

I believe confidence is crucial to a happy and fulfilled life.

Professor Abraham Maslow said,
” If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you you will be unhappy for the rest of your life.  You’ll be evading your own capabilities, your own possibilities.”

Strong stuff, but you can become more confident and be the person who fulfills their potential.   It doesn’t matter at what point you are starting from. What matters is that it is never too late to be the confident person you want to be.

Consider two numbers.

The first, how confident are you?  Rate yourself out of ten where ten means that you can achieve absolutely anything, no barriers, no obstacles. And zero means , you simply cannot see yourself getting very far and you feel incapable. Reflect on the ‘number’ you have given yourself.

Now consider, what you could achieve and how you would feel if you were more confident?  - this is your second number – how high would you like you confidence to be?

You now have your two numbers, your ‘confidence scale’ for this time in your life. So how how are you going to get from your first number, where you are now, to where you want to be fulfilling your potential, your second number?

Here are 3 actions that work and will move you towards greater confidence.

  1. Remind yourself: Think of the last time you achieved something you were proud of.  Now list all the qualities and strengths you demonstrated.  Remind yourself, you are capable of far more than you think.
  2. Create a Confidence Journal – Use this journal to remind yourself of positive truths, affirmations and compliments about you.  Record inspiring ideas, thoughts and confidence boosters quotes.
  3. Set the goal. What would you dare to dream if you had total confidence and knew you could not fail?   Make a list of ten goals you’d like achieve over the next few months.  Choose the one that would have the greatest impact on your life and truly reflect your increased confidence?  How will you know you have achieved this goal?  Now write down the goal so it is specific. Make it clear and measurable with a timescale.

Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines. - Brian Tracy

So now its up to you.  You have the power to become more confident.

Add this affirmation to your confidence journal, “ I am responsible – its up to me, I am responsible for everything I do and I choose to be confident.”

For more tips please see my blog post ‘ Women and the confidence thing – Part 3: Building your Confidence’

7
Feb

Women and the Confidence thing 2: Fearless and Fabulous

Continuing this series on confidence KAMAKA is hosting our first seminar of 2011 – Fearless and Fabulous.

So here’s your invitation:
Dear brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous business woman

Have I got it wrong?  Is this not exactly how you describe yourself all the time? Well  if not you are if you are like many female business owners or aspiring business owner, where the lack of self – confidence is hampering their success or continued success.

How many of the followup statements resonate with you?

  • I can’t do public speaking – what elevator pitch?
  • I’m nervous around new people, particular when I have to enter a networking event
  • I’ll never get that contract
  • I’m not good enough
  • I need more contacts
  • Who is going to buy my service anyway, there are far more experienced people out there?
  • I don’t know what to say at networking events? No point going?
  • What elevator pitch?
  • I can’t pull a presentation out of the hat
  • I’m just faking it
  • I was just lucky getting that referral
  • I don’t want to appear pushy
  • You feel uncomfortable or perhaps slightly shocked when asked for your business card

Any of this thinking sound familiar to you?
Instead do you want build your confidence and be the fearless, fabulous business leader you are?
Join us

‘Fearless and Fabulous’ for Women Business Owners

Thursday 10 February 2011 
9.30 – 12.30

Developing Authentic Presence, Profile and Impact

‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

Book now.

Limited places. 
http://fearlessandfabulous-linkedin.eventbrite.com/

7
Feb

Women and the Confidence thing – Part 1

Presence and confidence are essential aspects of leadership for both men and women.  Leaders who have established credibility are confident, self-aware and able to influence and inspire with an elegance and charisma.  Confidence is an essential success factor for leaders.  Despite this amongst women – confidence or lack of it is an issue.  So what is this self-confidence thing for women? Is is a universal issue?  How does it manifest itself and how does it impact success and advancement?
In fact, if you look below the surface of even the most successful women you will see self-doubt,  uncertainty and more often than not a lack of self-confidence.


We can all name individuals who we consider to be confident, someone who seems to ooze charm and charisma. We may think – ‘they are so lucky, to be born with such confidence.’  We are impressed by their daring and sassiness and ability to just get out there.  We are impressed by what by how they always make a good impression, by what others say about them  and how they never seem to be fazed.

michelle-obama-white-house-portrait


For example, President Obama said of his wife…


“Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!”


It is interesting then to read that Michelle Obama although seemly confident and somewhat fearless and fabulous…hasn’t and doesn’t always feel that way.  In her description of the first female Hispanic Supreme Court judge she stated…


…despite all her [Judge Sotomayor] success at Princeton, [she then] went on to Yale Law School where she was at the top of her class in both schools—and despite all of her professional accomplishments, Judge Sotomayor says she still looks over her shoulder and wonders if she measures up. And when I read her story, I understood exactly how she feels.

Surprising.  You may have thought Michelle Obama was one of the lucky women born with ‘confidence gene’  – not so it seems.   She is not the first woman to feel as though she is an ‘impostor’ or ‘is this for real?’  Even the most successful and high achieving women are prone to high levels of self-doubt. Many women have the belief that they were “fooling” other people, “faking it” or getting by from having the right contacts, being in the right place at the right time or just being “lucky.” Many hold a belief they would be exposed as frauds and are waiting for that tap on the shoulder.   For many women this self-doubt and lack of confidence prevents from them being who they want to be.  As a result may feel inauthentic, inferior or not able to ‘own’ their success and achievements.  Sometimes, I find I have to quote Eleanor Roosevelt, to myself.


“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Self-confidence needs to based on authenticity.   True confidence enables us to express who we really are.  So how about you? How confident are you?  Would you describe yourself as a confident leader? A confident business owner? Are you as confident as you’d like to be?

Rate your self-confidence right now on scale of 1 – 10 on each of the following statements:


  • I am happy to talk to strangers if they talk to me first. __
  • I find it easy to start a conversation with strangers. __
  • When I speak, I am considered  intelligent and articulate. __
  • I am told I am professional and have a reputation for being credible. __
  • I enjoy public speaking. __
  • I enjoy opportunities to meet new people. __
  • I am happy to voice my opinions and thoughts in meetings. __
  • I make friends easily. __
  • I don’t worry what people think of me. __
  • I am known for being assertive. __

These characteristics are critical for success for both men and women, but are often development areas for women.  If you’ve scored 10/10 for each area you could probably write your own book on self confidence.  On the other hand, you may recognize those areas as requiring development if you are to achieve you business and career goals.
Here’s one tip to get you started on building your confidence:

Remind yourself that you like you by repeating the mantra: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself…” Go on try it.


Parts 2 & 3 of ‘Women and the confidence thing’ gives you more coaching tips for you to become the confident you.