Affirmations (positive statements about things already happening) are a great tool to take you along your journey of success. In my last post I talked about ways to create your affirmations.
To help you with that process, I thought I’d give you a few examples – 17 in fact. (more…)
Does your mind ever get the best of you?
Do you sometimes wish you could just STOP thinking so negatively?
Do you feel your mindset is messing with your success?
Well, you are not the only one. This is perfectly normal.
Your mind is one of the most powerful tools on the planet. Every day, people use their brains to solve problems, write books, draw up blueprints for skyscrapers, invent new technologies and make money.
It is through our thoughts that we create the world we live in. We can alter our worlds by changing our thoughts. If we change our thoughts we can change our lives. If we become aware of and understand the potential and power for our minds – we can consciously create greater happiness, and a greater sense of freedom. It’s all in the mind. (more…)
From the pages of Harvard Business Review to the TV studios of The Apprentice, many people have a view of what is key to success for leaders based upon lesson they have learned.
Here are my top ten, gleaned from my coaching clients, friends and colleagues in leadership and my own experience.
- Success begins with a sense of PURPOSE
- Be ENTHUSIASTIC
- BELIEVE in you – your skills, strengths and your dreams
- BE READY and accepting of change
- TAKE the step – Just do it
- STAND up and speak up
- BE TRUE to yourself
- Decide your DESTINATION but its all about the JOURNEY
- Create energy in your tool kit – ENERGY of mind, body and spirit.
- Have FAITH and EXPECT success.
Confidence influences all areas of your life and a healthy self-image and belief in yourself is the greatest asset you can have. People who lack confidence and self-belief always underachieve. They are less willing to try something new, less likely to be realise their potential and to be their best self. Sound familiar?
I believe confidence is crucial to a happy and fulfilled life.
Professor Abraham Maslow said,
” If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I warn you you will be unhappy for the rest of your life. You’ll be evading your own capabilities, your own possibilities.”
Strong stuff, but you can become more confident and be the person who fulfills their potential. It doesn’t matter at what point you are starting from. What matters is that it is never too late to be the confident person you want to be.
Consider two numbers.
The first, how confident are you? Rate yourself out of ten where ten means that you can achieve absolutely anything, no barriers, no obstacles. And zero means , you simply cannot see yourself getting very far and you feel incapable. Reflect on the ‘number’ you have given yourself.
Now consider, what you could achieve and how you would feel if you were more confident? - this is your second number – how high would you like you confidence to be?
You now have your two numbers, your ‘confidence scale’ for this time in your life. So how how are you going to get from your first number, where you are now, to where you want to be fulfilling your potential, your second number?
Here are 3 actions that work and will move you towards greater confidence.
Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines. - Brian Tracy
So now its up to you. You have the power to become more confident.
Add this affirmation to your confidence journal, “ I am responsible – its up to me, I am responsible for everything I do and I choose to be confident.”
For more tips please see my blog post ‘ Women and the confidence thing – Part 3: Building your Confidence’
There is sufficient reason to believe that many women doubt themselves and can be hard on themselves particularly in male dominated industries.
Self doubt, the lack self-confidence, and ‘impostor’ feelings undermine the potential to succeed and to become an influential leader with presence.
“When a man cuts himself, he throws away the razor. When a woman cuts herself, she blames herself.” – Gail Koff (Smith D. (2000) Women at work: Leadership for the next century. Prentice Hall)
The good news is that lack of self-confidence does not however, equate to lack in leadership skills and potential and through support, coaching and a shift in thinking, confidence can be developed and acquired as with any other leadership competence area. This one issue should not prevent women from achieving their leadership success.
Here are 10 coaching tips… towards a more confident you. Choose one or two to begin working on, then come back for more:
“If you hear a voice within in you say “you cannot paint”,then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” Vincent Van Googh
Continuing this series on confidence KAMAKA is hosting our first seminar of 2011 – Fearless and Fabulous.
So here’s your invitation:
Dear brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous business woman
Have I got it wrong? Is this not exactly how you describe yourself all the time? Well if not you are if you are like many female business owners or aspiring business owner, where the lack of self – confidence is hampering their success or continued success.
How many of the followup statements resonate with you?
- I can’t do public speaking – what elevator pitch?
- I’m nervous around new people, particular when I have to enter a networking event
- I’ll never get that contract
- I’m not good enough
- I need more contacts
- Who is going to buy my service anyway, there are far more experienced people out there?
- I don’t know what to say at networking events? No point going?
- What elevator pitch?
- I can’t pull a presentation out of the hat
- I’m just faking it
- I was just lucky getting that referral
- I don’t want to appear pushy
- You feel uncomfortable or perhaps slightly shocked when asked for your business card
Any of this thinking sound familiar to you?
Instead do you want build your confidence and be the fearless, fabulous business leader you are?
Join us
‘Fearless and Fabulous’ for Women Business Owners
Thursday 10 February 2011 9.30 – 12.30
Developing Authentic Presence, Profile and Impact
‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
Book now.
Limited places. http://fearlessandfabulous-linkedin.eventbrite.com/
Presence and confidence are essential aspects of leadership for both men and women. Leaders who have established credibility are confident, self-aware and able to influence and inspire with an elegance and charisma. Confidence is an essential success factor for leaders. Despite this amongst women – confidence or lack of it is an issue. So what is this self-confidence thing for women? Is is a universal issue? How does it manifest itself and how does it impact success and advancement?
In fact, if you look below the surface of even the most successful women you will see self-doubt, uncertainty and more often than not a lack of self-confidence.
We can all name individuals who we consider to be confident, someone who seems to ooze charm and charisma. We may think – ‘they are so lucky, to be born with such confidence.’ We are impressed by their daring and sassiness and ability to just get out there. We are impressed by what by how they always make a good impression, by what others say about them and how they never seem to be fazed.
For example, President Obama said of his wife…
“Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!”
It is interesting then to read that Michelle Obama although seemly confident and somewhat fearless and fabulous…hasn’t and doesn’t always feel that way. In her description of the first female Hispanic Supreme Court judge she stated…
…despite all her [Judge Sotomayor] success at Princeton, [she then] went on to Yale Law School where she was at the top of her class in both schools—and despite all of her professional accomplishments, Judge Sotomayor says she still looks over her shoulder and wonders if she measures up. And when I read her story, I understood exactly how she feels.
Surprising. You may have thought Michelle Obama was one of the lucky women born with ‘confidence gene’ – not so it seems. She is not the first woman to feel as though she is an ‘impostor’ or ‘is this for real?’ Even the most successful and high achieving women are prone to high levels of self-doubt. Many women have the belief that they were “fooling” other people, “faking it” or getting by from having the right contacts, being in the right place at the right time or just being “lucky.” Many hold a belief they would be exposed as frauds and are waiting for that tap on the shoulder. For many women this self-doubt and lack of confidence prevents from them being who they want to be. As a result may feel inauthentic, inferior or not able to ‘own’ their success and achievements. Sometimes, I find I have to quote Eleanor Roosevelt, to myself.
“No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Self-confidence needs to based on authenticity. True confidence enables us to express who we really are. So how about you? How confident are you? Would you describe yourself as a confident leader? A confident business owner? Are you as confident as you’d like to be?
Rate your self-confidence right now on scale of 1 – 10 on each of the following statements:
These characteristics are critical for success for both men and women, but are often development areas for women. If you’ve scored 10/10 for each area you could probably write your own book on self confidence. On the other hand, you may recognize those areas as requiring development if you are to achieve you business and career goals.
Here’s one tip to get you started on building your confidence:
Remind yourself that you like you by repeating the mantra: “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself…” Go on try it.
Parts 2 & 3 of ‘Women and the confidence thing’ gives you more coaching tips for you to become the confident you.
Last week the French Government approved quotas for Boardroom positions for women in response to the low representation of women. Quotas have raised debate and have been a controversial issue for sometime, but could we see such a policy in the UK. The percentage of women in the Boardroom of the top 100 FTSE companies is less than that in France at a mere 12.3%. This slow progress of women’s advancement is in despite of the huge number of talented, ambitions and highly qualified women that have flood the workplace. I suggest the issue of such low number of women in senior roles is not about the talent per se. Half the best talent in the world is female! So what are those factors that have become barriers for women advancing in career, business and leadership. Here are a few.
- Women still face complex and powerful stereotypes in the business world and male-dominated industries
- Pay inequalities between genders
- The challenge of getting and retaining female talent
- Work-life Balance
- Women have the lion’s share of childcare responsibilities
- The lack of ‘quality’ mentors
- Women are not as well ‘networked’ as men.
- There is a lack of gender balanced leadership
But one issue not always discussed is how women view leadership and power? How well do we as women embrace leadership roles? In comparison to men women tend to be self-depreciating of their successes and achievements. Women can tend to be ‘nice’ rather than ‘political’ in the work place. How many times have you heard yourself or women say – “I’m not getting involved in the politics here?’ Women tend to wait to be asked for that promotion or new position and would rather not to highlight their achievements for fear of being too arrogant or labeled. Is our childhood construct is to blame? Or lack of confidence, fear or acceptance of this is just the way it is. Whatever the reason, can we not choose otherwise?
There is an accelerated shift in understanding of impact and influence women are having and will have in the 21st century- there will be economic, social and political consequences beyond our expectations. This time last last year The Economist reported
‘Women’s Economic empowerment is arguably the biggest social change of our times.‘ (January 2010)
Consider the words of Iyanla Vanzant back in 1996 – do her words resonate as we move into 2011?
“There is something phenomenal going on!
I’m not quite sure what it is, and quite frankly. I don’t care! I simply know, whatever it is, it will be great!
It has to do with change, healing, growth and evolution.
And
It has to do with women.
If I were pressed, I would put it into words like this:
There are changes taking place in the hearts and minds of women
That are going to rock the world!
Women are changing their minds about who they are: and what their role will be in the world order.
Women are learning to be responsible for the healing of their mental, physical, emotional and spiritual selves.
Women are learning to love themselves and each other.
Most of all women are evolving to the point where they are no longer willing to accept ‘nonsense’ from themselves or from anyone else.
I love it!
Will the women please stand up!”
Contact us on info@kamaka.co.uk or call +44 (0)20 7564 8783
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