In the various meetings, seminars, workshops and networking scenarios I have led or been part of, one issue that constantly comes up is that affects confidence – that of comparing ourselves to others. We all do it. We compare ourselves and then tend to undervalue our skills, expertise, life experience and gifts. Clients have explained they are too embarrassed to raise their fees. For example, ‘why would anyone want to pay little ‘ol me, I’ve only been in business for 18 months’… Says the woman with 20 years experience as an accountant in the corporate world!
We all compare ourselves to others around us, thinking others know more or are more skilled. My pre-school son, would use his own word – “good-er”. Others are not necessarily “good-er” than you. Comparison has an unhealthy impact on confidence and consequently on what we want to achieve in business or our life goals. Instead, I urge you to focus on being the best you can be. You are excellent in your own right. You are talented, gifted and uniquely skilled. Only you can be you.
‘We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’
Decide and make up your mind to be an excellent speaker, make your mind to be the confident strategic consultant people seek, make your mind to be a great business person with something to offer a large audience. Whatever it is, be confident, be you and quit comparing yourself to others. Believing in yourself is a choice. Your confidence is your responsibility. Choose to believe you can do anything you set your mind to and act as if it is possible. Believe in yourself because other may not.
If having others believe in us and our dreams was a requirement for success – would we achieve it? Probably not. Base your decisions on what you want and on your goals and desires – not the opinions and judgments of well meaning friends, parents, partner and colleagues.
Follow your dream. Let go of worrying about what others are thinking or not thinking about you, ‘have a word” with yourself and get on with being your very best.
You will be better spending your time, energy, creativity on your goals and ideas than worrying about what other people think about you.
What others think about you is none of your business!