4
Jun

Charisma – part of your leadership presence

picresized_1276897691_eloquent-eyes-18Charisma – have you got it?  Do you recognise it when you see it? Who do you think of when considering charismatic people?  Dalai Lama? Tony Blair? John F. Kennedy? Margaret Thatcher? Mother Theresa? Fabio Capello

Barak Obama said of his wife,

Most people who meet my wife quickly conclude that she is remarkable. They are right about this. She is smart, funny and thoroughly charming. Often, after hearing her speak at some function or working with her on a project, people will approach me and say something to the effect of, you know, I think the world of you, Barack, but your wife, wow!

Charisma is a powerful and effective quality.  So what is charisma and can it be learnt? Do you become more charismatic with confidence?

Charisma can be defined as ‘compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others’. It can be daunting to imagine yourself as a charismatic leader if you don’t feel it comes naturally to you.  However, although there are no quick fixes to becoming more charismatic, charisma is a learnable set of skills which can be built and which, when embodied, will become a highly desirable attribute contributing to your success and leadership presence.

Research and a number of studies conducted have shown conclusively that charismatic leaders are more successful.  They appreciate the impact that charisma can have on their effectiveness and work to develop it as part of their leadership presence.  Charismatic leaders attract more publicity and more attention from outside groups as well as exerting strong connections within within their organisation.

Here are some suggestions to help you develop your charisma and leadership presence

Connection to a higher purpose: Charismatic individuals seem to have a greater sense of purpose beyond their own gain. Be purpose focused and get in touch with the bigger vision that drives you and remind yourself of this daily.

Authenticity and Uniqueness: It’s great to be you, so give yourself permission to be true to you demonstrating your passion – it is attractive

Communicate and hone your presence: Communication is both holistic and cognitive – you need to think about your presence in terms of specific communication. Clarify your messages to make them clear and coherent. Only 7% of our communication is through words, thus how we ‘present’ ourselves, the tonality of our voice, image and body language is key to communicating who we are. Your communication and the image you present create the first impression in any situation. In conversation consider so much about leadership isn’t about you but that other person.

Self- awareness – ‘know thyself’: Emotional intelligence is a crucial part of charisma. Awareness of emotions and the ability to manage moods are key skills for charismatic individuals, as is empathy for others. Learn to connect with your own feelings and listen to others.

Health, energy and appearance: Key to charisma is health. Charismatic people need not have perfect smiles or gym bodies, but they do have a vitality and abundance of life. They also nearly always manage their appearance well. So value your health – this includes good sleep, water, exercise, recreation and diet.

The role of the body: Charisma is an embodied quality. It is apparent from the moment an individual walks into a room. Charismatic people ‘own the room’ and they convey charisma by their posture and movement.  Manage your posture and practice carrying yourself with confidence and dignity – standing tall, carrying your weight firmly in each step and ‘owning the room’.  Observe how charismatic role models carry themselves.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, which frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? (Marianne Williamson)

17
May

A question of balance

One woman - different roles

One woman - different roles

Recently, I was on the panel at a business conference where I was reminded that the ’work-life’ balance dilemma means something quite different in reality to a family man running his own business and advancing his career to a woman in similar situation.

The panel was asked ‘how do you balance time with your family and the priorities of work and driving you business forward?’ My male co-expert, who runs a very successful financial services business, explained that he prioritised his family in terms of what time he returns home from work, ensuring weekends are family time and that he has chosen not to work away from home during the week.  All the while he was speaking, I was thinking about the three hours a morning 3 days a week I have while my son is at nursery and the work I need to cram in. When I had the opportunity to answer, I could only state – what all the women in the room knew – that the majority of women still have the lion’s share of domestic responsibility and childcare.  For women, it is all the more important to focus, prioritise, become an expert multi-tasker and not to sweat the small stuff – including the ironing!  I also admitted for me it is hard work, but worth it for the choice I made for a flexible lifestyle and being my own boss. Read the rest of this entry »

12
May

Do women hold up half the sky?

Do women hold up half the sky?

Around much of the world, inequality between men and women remains, in terms of education, access to healthcare, work, salaries, business leadership and involvement in political institutions. There has however, been an evolution in the views around the role of women over the last forty years and we have moved closer towards the aspiration of equality. But significant gaps remain globally and how far have we come in the UK?

Mao Zedong said women hold up half the sky, but you wouldn’t think so if you looked at the FTSE-100 Boards. Women make up a mere 12% of the FTSE directors in the UK. Sir John Bond, ex-chief at HSBC, now at Vodafone considers it bad business where women are not given equal opportunities…’apart from being unjust, it’s bad for business.’ (‘Fathers and Daughters’ Management Today, Nov. 2009).  Yet according to the Economist 2010,

Women’s economic empowerment is arguably the biggest social change of our times.

The limited representation of women in top positions does not reflect the fact that women make up the majority of Talent in the UK with more and more coming into the workforce, achieving academically and developing professionally. So this issue is not that the talent doesn’t exist – an argument often cited.

Further, in this extraordinary month of election campaigning, TV debates, a hung parliament, political negotiations and finally a coalition government – there has been a significant lack of visibility of women in the political arena.

We did see an increase in the number of women MPs from 128 to 139 (or from 19.1% to 21.3%) (see One World Action) and given all the talk of an era ‘new politics’, is this enough? Further, as I write this blog there has been one woman named in the Con-Lib coalition cabinet – Theresa May – Home Secretary and Minister for Women and Equality.   With a mere 55 female Conservative and Liberal Democrat MPs, can we expect any more?

As with the case for economics and business the lack of women in top roles and positions in the political arena is bad for government and disillusioning. We still have some way to go. ‘Women holding up half the sky’ remains an aspiration.

16
Sep

Are you one of the 5,600 ‘missing’ women?

You could be! According to the Equality and Human Rights Commission looking at women in top positions…if women were to achieve equal representation among Britain’s 31,000 top positions of power, the Commission estimates over 5,600 ‘missing’ women would rise through the ranks to positions of real influence.  Can you imagine such equality? Can you imagine being in a top position?

Are you one of the 5,600 ‘missing’ women?

I confess, although I am someone known for optimism and believing in miracles when faced with some of the statistics it’s hard to imagine 5,600 more women in significant positions. The same report, Sex and Power, has likened women’s progress to a snail’s pace. A snail could crawl:

  • nine times round the M25 in the 55 years it will take women to achieve equality in the senior judiciary;
  • from Land’s End to John O’Groats and halfway back again in the 73 years it will take for equal numbers of women to become directors of FTSE 100 companies; and
  • the entire length of the Great Wall of China in 212 years, only slightly longer than the 200 years it will take for women to be equally represented in Parliament.

Here are five tips:

  1. Shift your thinking. Another of my favourite quotes is Albert Einstein ‘The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.’ A common analogy of career progression is that of climbing the rungs of a ladder. This thinking is limiting, instead think of it more as scaling in a rock face with the footholds and handholds in small crevices as opportunities and new thinking. Sometimes you will need to shift your weight to the left or to the right to get your balance before you can reach the top. But look out for those less obvious opportunities – that small speaking engagement, that invitation to be on a school board and ‘give back’ and that role that takes you out of your comfort zone. Don’t be afraid to stretch yourself and go out on limb.
  2. Get yourself a mentor. The gender ‘problem’ may be addressed by training and leadership programmes for the advancement for women, but a mentor will support and strengthen confidence in your career. Someone who has gone before you and has progress further up that rock face and can drop that rope down to you.  However, if women look exclusively to other women as mentors, a lack of women at the top means women may not be able to find suitable mentors who can help them develop so having a female mentor isn’t necessary all of the time.
  3. Be authentic and take ownership of your destiny. It is your career, your life, your destiny. Carve out your own career path and in doing so you will be empowered along the way.  Distinguish yourself from the rest of the crowd and don’t be a victim.  If you don’t like something, change it.  If you think something is wrong, if its not aligned to your values, get into a position where you can do something about it.  If you don’t want to be pigeonholed, don’t pigeonhole yourself.  Be true to yourself.
  4. Be brilliant. Get really really good at the role you are in.  Ensure you have your foothold securely in that role and have mastered it before moving n to the next.  Remember wise words of Winston Churchill, “It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.”
  5. Live with passion, live on purpose. Be enthusiastic about what you do and how you do it.  Let your passion shine.   Find the opportunities in areas that ignite your passion and purpose, be it networking events, business referral meetings and one-to-one coffee meetings where your passion is aligned. Be purpose-driven and not just in a business sense follow your heart, connect with people you like
16
Sep

How to be ‘nice’ and sabotage your career – 5 top tips

Are you a nice person?  I’m sure you are.  But have you every felt that your ‘niceness’ has caused you to stumble in your career?

How to be ‘nice’ and sabotage your career - 5 top tips

One of the problems and challenges women face at the marco level, is that in general, many women have been raised to be liked. They are taught to avoid making waves, to fit in, to smooth things out in relationships, and to “be nice.”  “Being nice” can be a way women hold themselves back from achieving their full potential — It’s about unique mistakes women make at work and in their professional lives.

Here are some ‘nice’ behaviours that can mess with your career:

Believe others know more than you. An example, from my own experience, was in preparing a detailed strategy report and presenting to a manager whose opinion I valued and I felt ‘knew more’, had greater experience and greater talent. To my disappointment he tore it apart and then edited and presented as his own work deleting my recommendations. I confess my confidence was knocked. Ironically the Board came back with question around the very recommendations that had been deleted from my original report. So why didn’t believe in myself. Unlike men, we tend to admit when we don’t know something but still fail to trust our own abilities when we do.

Instead:

  • Before making this assumption ask some questions, “what makes you think that?” or “why are your making those recommendations?” In this way you are checking their expertise, but more importantly you become more confident.
  • Develop your own set of standards for some tasks so you can evaluate your own performance.
  • Judge for yourself how well you have done on a particular project

Self -trust is the secret of success.  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Communicate in a round about way. Although many men do this also, women often communicate indirectly, hinting at the point instead of direct speech.  It may be intended as a way of being caring and sustaining a relationship. For example, “Do you think you would have time to locate the Smith file, when you get a moment, please?” And although indirectness is not a weakness, it may be seen as such. Instead – Give your opinion; make your statement in clear terms without qualifiers.

Helping. I like to help people especially when in difficulties. I remember, when a role as a senior manager I found myself helping out my team to meet a deadline by making key and coffee for my project team and taking messages! I was helping not leading. Women are taught early in their lives that others know more than they did, their knowledge and self-confidence is externally referenced. Helping others is one way women gain external validation for their worth. Perhaps, that’s why so many women go into helping fields. So if you are busy doing stuff, making the tea and photocopying, then you don’t have time to provide the vision, guidance and direction your team requires. You are not making the transition from being a ‘doer’  to becoming a leader.

Instead:

Read what John Kotter, the well renowned Harvard Professor,  has to say on leadership. Make a distinction between helping and being eased. You are helping if you provide resources and support, but if you’re working harder than the rest your team I suspect you’ll been used. And to develop your own self awareness ask yourself if your help you because you think you will be liked for it or because of something you really want to need to do. Read more about John Kotter in this article.

Apologising unnecessarily. This is a social construct and more about respect and politeness women. However, when women apologise (“Sorry, I didn’t return your call…”) men can see this as a sign of deference or weakness…he has heard that you have made a mistake or done something wrong to warrant the apology. Further, being in this habit and apologising for every apparent error affects our confidence and the confidence others have in us. Instead: When you make a mistake worth apologising for do so, just once then move on to problem-solving mode. Begin from a place of equality regardless of the other person’s position and don’t apologise to be liked!

9
Sep

Announcing the launch of KAMAKA!

The launch of KAMAKA – The exclusive coaching company for women.

An exciting launch event with a drinks reception, business networking and key speakers from the world of advertising, media and the charity sectors.

The speakers are:

Jo Booth – Global Planning director – EURO RSCG

Caroline Rich – Global Group Director EURO RSCG

Bridget Edwards – CEO Anne Peaker – Centre for Arts in Criminal Justice.

THURSDAY 17 SEPTEMBER 6PM – 9PM

At the exclusive

NO.5, CAVENDISH SQUARE, LONDON, W1G 0PG.

KAMAKA has been founded by Marcie Buxton who is a market leader in executive coaching for women of influence and inspiration. Her experience allows her to work with corporate organisations big and small, teams and individuals. Marcie’s passion extends to supporting aspirational women so they become the best leaders they can be.